- Families nowhere near the actual event can be profoundly affected.
- Younger children may become clingy, while older children may turn inward.
- Carilion Clinic's chair of Psychiatry answers questions from families.
Tragedies such as school shootings, environmental disasters and foreign wars are profoundly traumatic for those directly affected.
Robert L. Trestman, Ph.D., M.D., chair of Carilion Mental Health, says families that are far away from the violence can be affected, too.
“These tragedies can have serious impact on others of us who did not know the victims, but identify with them or the potential for such events to occur much closer to home,” he said.
In an interview with WSLS about the escalating conflict between the Palestinian people and Israel, Dr. Trestman said that
while seeing war and violence is damaging for children, it is an important topic to address.
”You can’t unsee these things," he said, but repeated viewings compounds the distress. "I would really encourage parents to work to limit exposure,” he recommended.
Parents and caregivers may not know how to support their frightened children or even handle their own reactions to such distressing news. Questions Dr. Trestman’s team has heard include:
- “How do I reassure my children?”
- “My kids are afraid to go to school. What do I tell them?”
- “My PTSD symptoms just got triggered. How can I deal with my fears?”
- “I don’t feel safe anywhere anymore.”
The answers to those questions are complex.
No matter the specific event, Dr. Trestman emphasized the importance of talking with your kids in a way that is age-appropriate for them.
Reactions to Traumatic Events
According to the American Psychiatric Association (APA), the reactions people have to disasters can be confusing and inconsistent. For example, people may feel anything from numbness to depression and anger, they may have no appetite or want to eat all the time, and they may experience either a complete lack of energy or hyperactivity. In addition, watch for:
- Trouble sleeping
- Confusion and trouble concentrating
- Social isolation and reduced or restricted activities
- Believing that others don’t feel the same about the event
- Headaches, stomach aches or other body pains
- Misusing alcohol, tobacco, drugs or prescription medications to cope
Children, especially very young ones, may be more clingy or have more tantrums than usual and they may revert to bedwetting or thumb-sucking.
School-aged children may start getting into fights or isolating from their friends altogether, and adolescents and teens may resort to alcohol and drugs to cope.
How You Can Help
Children learn how to behave by watching the adults in their lives—that includes both healthy and less healthy coping skills. So the best way parents and caregivers can support their children is by “putting their oxygen mask on first."
To take care of yourself, the APA recommends:
- Taking care of your day-to-day needs: eating, hydrating, exercising and sleeping
- Avoiding alcohol, tobacco and other drugs to cope or escape
- Using breathing exercises, meditation, calming self-talk or soothing music to relax
- Engaging in hobbies, social activities and work
- Skipping television and social media in favor of credible sources of information
- Helping in practical ways, such as sharing information about available resources; helping others helps ourselves as well
- Accepting your complex, quickly changing feelings
To help the children and teens in your life, the most important thing you can do is to create a supportive environment where they can feel safe voicing their fears and asking difficult questions. The American Academy of Pediatrics offers tips on how to do that in this video:
