In the past we have spoken quite a bit about reflecting in order to get to know oneself better, and in order to find better ways to deal with issues and concerns. We have spoken about how we are using reflective writing in the resdiency program to help identify how well the Pediatric residents are internalizing lessons on professionalism. This post represents a reflection on how well or poorly I am dealing with the unexpected changes to this blog.
I am giving myself a C+, which is by far the lowest grade I have ever gotten on any project or item I have worked on.
Because, although I consider myself a change agent, and tell people how well I "embrace" change, I find that I did not handle the sudden, unexpected but necessary changes that happened recently. In fact, I was on the verge of letting something as simple as needing to learn to use a new system, and working with the web design experts to create an enhanced interface for my readers, distract me from continuing to write and stimulate thoughts and responses. I felt it was "too much." In short, I was "whining." One of my very good friends pointed that out to me, and I am grateful for that help.
As with every roadblock or detour, I believe it is important to learn as much as possible so that I can try to be certain that "the next time" something unexpected or not part of my plan happens, I am not derailed from my overall goal. Here is what I have learned about myself:
- I don't like change as much as I thought I did
- I don't like change when I am not in control of it
- I am not as adventurous as I would like others to think I am
- I occasionally demonstrate lapses in professional behavior
- I may take it out on others when I am frustrated with my own powerlessness
So now what? Now that I know these things about myself how will I use this knowledge to become a better person? That's the really hard part of reflecting. Making a change in how one views the world and how to respond to it in the future.
We need to look back to look forward.
So, hopefully, the next time I am confronted with a new, unique, uncomfortable situation I will respond more positively. I will hope that I embrace the change I see and make something positive out of what could affect me in a negative way.
What do you think?
How do you respond to unanticipated changes in your life? For those of you in health care, can you see parallels to how we respond when our patients "dont read the book?" What about when treatment fails, or the patient does not have the disease we thought we were diagnosing?
Leave a comment below and let's have a discussion.